We ate our meal as jauntily as we could, setting aside our uncertain feelings for the surrounding décor, which at its best must have been plucked from a lost-and-found of the 50s. It was hard to stare at the ceramic dish between my palms, as its sheen reflected the pasty yellow lighting of this diner. I tried shifting my seat as an attempt at making the meal more comfortable, but was interrupted by a loose tile in the floor. It meagerly trapped the leg of my chair, begging to be returned to its place in the ground below. I scoffed it away with another grunt and tug of the budget throne, managing to snap the age-old tile in the process. Before creating enough of a scene to pull the other guests away from their colorless food, I scraped my chair back into position and hastily grabbed the nearest fork. I could see stains where the washer must have forgotten to scrub, and suddenly I felt the need to distract my fellows from whatever it was that might have inhabited their plates. ...