For Here or to Go?
We ate our meal as jauntily as we could, setting aside our
uncertain feelings for the surrounding décor, which at its best must have been
plucked from a lost-and-found of the 50s. It was hard to stare at the ceramic
dish between my palms, as its sheen reflected the pasty yellow lighting of this
diner. I tried shifting my seat as an attempt at making the meal more
comfortable, but was interrupted by a loose tile in the floor. It meagerly
trapped the leg of my chair, begging to be returned to its place in the ground
below. I scoffed it away with another grunt and tug of the budget throne,
managing to snap the age-old tile in the process.
Before creating enough of a
scene to pull the other guests away from their colorless food, I scraped my
chair back into position and hastily grabbed the nearest fork. I could see
stains where the washer must have forgotten to scrub, and suddenly I felt the
need to distract my fellows from whatever it was that might have inhabited
their plates. A weak sigh slipped out of my throat, and I covered its tracks by
gazing off into the shadowy corners of other reserved tables. While crossing
eyes with a bitter couple, I caught the sight of a familiar blue glow. A small
TV set shimmered from a perch in the ceiling, its light severely contrasting
that of the dying bulbs around it. I figured television could probably
offer me more solace than a BLT, and I would have been right if it weren’t for
the channel that TV was tuned to.
On the screen, littered with infographics and
grammar-less statements, was a commercial. Displayed in slow motion was the ever
so slight placing of several bacon slices onto a pale ovoid platter. Soon
after, a pair of unmanned spatulas precariously placed an entirely obese steak
onto the same platter, following it with a saucy barbecue drizzle. I was beside
myself. I would have exfoliated my anger onto the other patrons of the diner,
but that idea left me as quickly as my former appetite.
Of course an American diner would run ads for another diner on its own TVs, while we
are eating their food. At this stage, the last thing on my mind was my stomach.
I wanted to leave this retrofitted Hollywood set. I wanted to create some distance
between myself and our server who wore too much makeup and smiled too hard for
me to believe she liked her job. I wouldn’t really want to cause a fuss though,
and somebody had to cover the bill. I’d have asked if we could all split it,
but it wouldn’t be right to force everyone else to have this restaurant in
their records. I can picture it vividly – a quiet night in the kitchen spent
rummaging through receipts, only to discover a grimy, off-white sheet with the
name of this diner smudged onto it in oily letters.
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